Inner Melbourne Serviced Apartments

After a fabulous stay in Melbourne to attend the Australian Open last year (in a new, 3 BR, 2BR full self-contained. gleaming new apartment for $200 a night), we decided to return. Alas, there was no room at the inn, and so we booked these apartments, based on their location. And the location *is* fabulous - walk to Fed Square, walk to the tennis, walk to the Convention Centre/DFOs. That said, there is no way in hell we would ever stay there again. Before we even got there, they managed to overdraw our credit card by taking the payment and security deposit the day before they had said they would. My husband was already worried about his decision to book this place, since they had been insistent on being paid everything upfront and adamant that there would be no one on site, which set off some alarm bells. We should have listened to them. We had been sent an email with lengthy instructions about needing to go to the "Grear [sic] Asia" grocery store to pick up keys, where we would be given a $5 voucher to buy milk because there is none in the room. So we paid the parking meter, bought the one non-soy option for $4, and carried the falling-apart pencil case which housed our keys as we merrily headed over to try to get into the parking space and room. (The whole voucher thing turned out to be a largely wasted exercise, since there were UHT milks in the fridge, anyway). Long story short, the lengthy instructions didn't mention how to get out of the carpark and into the building, which may have been useful, particularly since there are two identical buildings on either side of the carpark, and the fob will greenlight you to either. Next up, attempt to open door while door has cheerfully beeped and lit up encouragingly. Door doesn't budge. Attempt it again, using door handle. Door handle doesn't move. Realise there's a keyhole in door, try to use fob and key: no dice. Call the number they gave us for "any issues." No response. Husband walks down four levels of driveways and heads over to grocery store, where the guy says he can do nothing to help, before deciding to try another number. Person on phone relays that they will send someone over in 15-20 minutes. Husband calls me to inform me. By this stage my son and I are cross legged, hungry and tired. Our plan to get in, get comfy, eat, have a swim and watch some tennis on the telly has been replaced by sitting on concrete stairs under a sewer pipe in a concrete bunker. On a 40 degree day. 40 minutes later husband rings to say the helper has not arrived to where they were supposed to meet, in the lobby. Another trip to the grocery store and he's informed that the helpful person is waiting outside our apartment door, confused. That's right: the response to "I can't get into the building to access my apartment" is to go into the building and wonder why we aren't there. It transpires that the apartment door is known for being "tricky," so assumptions were made. Eventually husband returns and a young couple appear in the driveway and ask are we waiting to get in. When we say yes, and we've been waiting an hour and a half, they again explain that they've been waiting in the wrong place, as though that will assuage us. She asks have we been to the apartment. Yes, love; we went to the apartment, then thought we'd bring our luggage out here and camp on the steps for a bit. (Actually, once we saw the apartment, this scenario made more sense). She then uses the fob, shoulder barges the door with her full weight, and turns around with a "et voila!" hand gesture. She then says she will take us up to the "tricky" door, and tells me that I have to understand that she lives twenty minutes away. At that point, my head exploded a little, and I pointed out that we lived two DAYS away, and so her attempts to gather my sympathy were somewhat wasted. She told me she "didn't really" work for the people, but that she would pass on to her boss that I was unhappy. I'm still trying to work out the logic of that one. (We are yet to hear back from anyone about our experience). They let us into the apartment, which was tired and grotty. By this time it's past 8.30 pm. Hubby and I booked accommodation with a kitchen because we both have diabetes and need to eat proper food at regular times. No dice here - eating late, too late and too buggered to seek out groceries, and all the crockery and cutlery was filthy and had to be rewashed before we could do anything. So, how was the room? Spacious, but the space is not well allocated, and everything was grubby. I nearly died laughing when I saw the professional shots on their website and compared them with the ones I took: I have never been taken in by a bait and switch so very badly. The carpet felt dirty underfoot and appeared to have no underlay under it. The kitchen had a scourer but no sponge. There was one dunny roll for two bathrooms and a week's stay. (Note: despite the "serviced apartments" title, you have to stay an 8th night before you qualify for said service). A close inspection of the dishwasher showed some sort of rusty looking string holding the top together, and mold in the strainer down the bottom, so it was no wonder nothing that came out of it was, you know, clean. There was no broom, vacuum etc so it was impossible to try to make things any cleaner. Really, I just wanted a 10 litre bottle of disinfectant. The bed was by far the worst I've slept in since I was a Uni student, and I ended up with back pain from coils digging into me. The window has a broken latch and did not shut properly. This also meant that the bedroom and ensuite doors rattled all night long, because nothing was sealed properly. There was dust on the bedside tables and what can only be described as grot in the gaps of the coffee table. There was no toilet brush in the ensuite and the toilet had clearly not been cleaned. A black bobby pin was on the main bedroom carpet, and since I haven't worn them since about 1980, I know it wasn't mine. In the space where the DVD player would normally go (not that there was one!) in the TV Cabinet were not one, but two, scrunched up cleaning cloths that looked like hospital waste. Husband complained that the furniture wasn't so much "antique" as "second hand." I was just appalled that it was all stained and filthy. Two of the powerpoints in the bedroom had never been connected. The A/C was effective, but only in the living area. Turns out the main door was "tricky" because half the lock has come loose. It would take approximately 3 seconds with a Philip's head to fix it, but no, we'd rather send out the whinging "cleaners" from twenty minutes away, every time. The safety latch was broken beyond belief and in the world's tiniest ensuite bathroom, someone had patched the hole in the wall from having two doors and a towel rail in close proximity, but never bothered to paint it. They advertise their free wifi everywhere (password on a poster in the bathroom, anyone?) but it is so weak that we all turned it off and used our phones in order to actually connect to some sites. The pool was nice. Shared between both high rise apartment buildings, though, so expect it to be busy. Most bizarre of all was the fact that this cost us $275 a night. On our way home, we stopped in Albury. We paid $279 total for beautiful beds (with comfortable mattresses, bedheads, nice linen, and a normal height, as opposed to being so low to the ground you have to fall onto it), a two-storey townhouse with secure doors that opened, closed and locked properly, A/C up and down, a kitchenette, a decent sized TV, clean, modern furniture and a clean bathroom ... and included a 2 course dinner for three, with local wines. Before anyone says, oh, but this is a proper city: the week before our Melbourne adventure, we had travelled to Sydney for the APIA International. We stayed in the CBD in a 2 BR, neat, clean, modern apartment with 2 full sized bathrooms, comfy beds with hotel quality linen, 3 A/C Units and a large central living space, all for $229. So these apartments do not represent value for money. Nor are they comfortable. Steer well clear.

We are currently staying In a 3 bedroom apartment which is nothing less filth. We paid nearly $1200 for 3 nights which we found to be reasonable for 3 bedrooms but the condition of the apartment is by far the worst I have stayed at in any Australian self proclaimed 4 stay apartment. The day before arriving we rang to ensure our bags could be stored as we had a red eye flight & meetings to attend & we were assured there was no problem. Well there was! The concierge wouldn't take responsibility for our stuff as its not a hotel. The room it self is full of diy fixed furniture, plastic outdoor chairs & a filthy couch I'm too scared to let my head touch. Bathrooms top it as their covered in mold right through the tub/shower & floors. The second bathroom requires you to hold the shower head up the whole time as its broken. The bedroom lamps are by fare the worst stained shades I've ever seen. Even mold spots are visible. The curtain in my bedroom has some ones boogies, no word of a lie still hanging off them. Clear as day! On top of it all if you're in the apartment the door has no lock! There's just a measly chain lock which is broken in half from being pushed on to hard. A gentleman came up today & told us he fixed the lock. By that he meant he tried to mend the chain lock which ripped apart again within a minute. So we are sleeping with it unlocked definitely not the security you expect in an apartment. We have rang, emailed and texted asking for a new CLEAN room like we saw in the pics but have been given the ring around and sent a few patronising emails. Worst accommodation experience by far for me!

My recent overnight stay in Melbourne with my two teenage grandsons needed to be close enough to the CBD and Southbank. Luckily the visit was planned for midweek but my requirement for two bedroom accommodation was starting to prove expensive. After a bit of searching online I found Inner Melbourne Serviced Apartments and at $200 for the night I was really happy. Booking online was super easy and email responses from them confirming everything were very prompt. I did have a further query which was answered when I rang them. Parking is provided at $15 per stay. There is a small amount of inconvenience in that to pick up your keys you must go to a grocery store opposite the apartment buildings. Finding your assigned parking space is a little tricky but if you have a passenger they can direct you using the map provided. Generous parking sites for even larger 4wds too. Getting from the car park without any signage was hilarious, but again my tech savvy grandsons helped with the electronic keys. What a pleasant surprise our room was. First up we were on the 26th floor with views to die for. The actual rooms were super clean, fairly modern and well maintained. Everything you need is supplied, including a washing machine dryer and dishwasher. There were one or two cosmetic faults but overall we were all extremely pleased with everything. Free Wi Fi was a hit with the teenagers too. The apartment was 5 mins walk from Eureka Tower and about the same to Southbank Promenade. Crown would be about 10 mins walk.