The Triton

As Ladyberkshire has said in her review: "Stay anywhere else but here." At £76.50 a night for B&B we should all expect something a great deal better that this disgraceful excuse of a B&B. The place felt like a Communist era Bulgarian youth hostel. The room was large enough but it had the character and cosiness of a 1960's TV sitcom set. There were two very peculiar chairs - very small and short legged which were almost impossible to sit in without either tipping over backwards or hitting your chin with you knees. There was also a totally random pink velour boudoir chair that was also pointlessly low. (Since there wasn't a wardrobe we used the chairs and sat on the bed.) Parking is purely by luck; on the road but everyone else on the street also parked there so when we arrived there was not a space to be seen. The Landlady let us park behind her car in a little narrow alley to the rear of the house, which was a kindness but shouldn't have been necessary. The 'en-suite' basin-shower-loo room was, shall I say, compact. Sitting on the loo with the door shut was horribly claustrophobic. (I may be wrong but I can't remember there being an extractor fan - there certainly was no window so, surely, there must have been one.) There definitely was no hot water from the basin - I left it running in the morning (about 7.45 am) for at least 90 seconds but it never managed more than lukewarm. The shower was a joke. It was electric but at full speed and high temperature it was barely hot and scarcely more than a dispiriting dribble. There was tea and coffee making facilities - provided you didn't want more than two of each (oddly there was at least 6 little pots of milk and loads of sugar tubes). In case you ask: it is not good enough to say you should simply ask for more - the paucity of them just emphasises the general meanness feeling that permeated the place. We booked the place in a rush and were taken in by the Booking.com flag: "Large Double Room - only one remaining!". Yes, well, there is only one large double room at the place so while the statement was true it gave naive us the feeling that, if we were quick, we would be lucky to be able to book it. As it turned out we were the only people at the place so at least we had breakfast on our own. Mind you, the other three tables were part laid (and gathering dust) as if they were sadly waiting for someone to turn up. The actual breakfast was OK except for the fact that the sausages were those cheap pale bread-filled catering ones that have very little to do with pork and a lot to do with margins. One thing, above all else, should give everyone cause to worry and avoid. At the top of the stairs there is a Fire Door with the necessary public area label stating: "Fire Door. Keep closed." It was wedged open for all the time we were there. Lastly and, thank goodness for that, we had an urgent call from home which meant we had to truncate our stay after just one night of the two we had booked a few days before. Technically we had no right to a refund but my wife, knowing she'd have to fork out the difference in cost for a more expensive ferry trip back, asked the Landlady whether she would consider a partial refund or something. The Landlady immediately said "No.". My wife felt it was said with a certain amount of relish. So we left and immediately felt better.

The guesthouse is perfectly located, a few minutes walk from the train station and Shanklin beach. Jackie the owner was so lovely and couldn't do more for us. She even cooks extra sausages at breakfast for your dog! The room was very light and spacious and had a lovely homely feel. When we return we will definitely be staying at The Triton.

A warm and friendly welcome, a clean and comfortable room and a delicious home-cooked breakfast all went into making our stay at this dog friendly accomodation just about perfect. Leo says woof woof and thank you for the sausages!