NAPOLEON SAN REMO HOTEL

​If you are looking for a Hotel Hell style experience, congratulations: you have found the perfect facility. A stay that was nothing short of hallucinatory, marked by grotesque management and a total lack of professionalism. ​Room and cleanliness: welcome to the Jurassic. As soon as we crossed the threshold of the room, the feeling was that of a trip back in time, but in a negative sense. Decor definitely not modern. But the "best" is yet to come: dirty floors, hairpins on the floor, and an unexpected collection of sand to welcome us (spoiler: we were not at the beach, and not 50 meters away as indicated). As a final treat, for a double room for two people, we were generously granted only one single set of body wash/products. Forced sharing, apparently. Oh, and forget about cooling anything down: the minibar in the room simply does not exist. ​Service and reception: a surreal experience. We arrived exhausted from the summer heat and simply asked for some water. Result? Total panic. They literally did not know what to do, until they had the brilliant idea of charging us 3 euros for a bottle of water. The check-in? Handled by a staff member of rare incompetence who thought it was a good idea to welcome us while calmly eating her snacks as she spoke to us. To top it all off, the reception was an obstacle course: fan cords dangling and piled up between the counter and the walkway, with a guaranteed tripping hazard every time you crossed it. ​Dog chapter: animal farm I love dogs (I even cuddled them!), but finding animals of every size free to roam as if it were their own home is absolutely not acceptable or professional in an accommodation facility. ​Breakfast: buffet anxiety If you are looking for a bit of peace and quiet in the morning, forget about it. The breakfast room is tiny and you find yourself literally stuck to everyone else. The variety is reduced to a minimum and, ridiculous to say, basic foods like eggs are for an extra charge. The classy touch? The staff breathing down your neck, constantly buzzing around you in an indiscreet way and causing crazy anxiety. Morning peace is just a mirage. ​The grand finale: documents held "hostage" and total illegality The property kept our ID documents instead of returning them to us immediately after checking them (which is illegal in itself). Not satisfied with that, when we realized they hadn't given them back, they demanded that we organize and pay for the pickup via courier, even blaming us for it! Booking's support had to intervene directly, confirming to us that by law it was completely unacceptable to make a fuss and demand it from us: it was up to the property to provide for their return immediately at their own expense. A level of double incompetence and arrogance truly never seen before. ​In summary: Dilapidated property, approximate cleanliness, and management that is somewhere between incompetent and outlaw. We will never return, not even for free.

Old hotel, poor room, bathroom with air conditioning drainage inside the shower, two days with water leaking from the ceiling in front of the room door, bidet clogged; the only positive note was the pool. For the 300 euros I paid, it was truly a disgrace.

I booked a superior room on Booking for 145 a night. The description and the photos are not the same as the one assigned to me (room no. 30, first floor). In particular, the photos show a spacious room with a sea view, a newly renovated bathroom. Furthermore, the description of the room states that it is equipped with parquet flooring, satellite TV, and a sea view. I also paid an extra 15 euros for parking and 10 euros for the dog, totaling 170 euros for one night. I am attaching the photos so you can get an idea of the room that was assigned to me... indecent! The manager, after my comments, told me that the photos on Booking are indicative. The room is from the 60s, a bathroom with a bathtub with broken tiles, not even a hook to hold the shower head. Rusty faucets, old tiles, peeling door... a nightmare!